Thanks for tuning in luvz! Let me give you my perspective on the best way and what it feels like to deal with an emotionally closed off spouse…
So because I’m honestly an emotionally closed off person myself, I get asked a lot about how to deal with one. Everyone knows that when you deal with someone who has an emotional brick wall up it can be stressful. Yes, everyone wants love but not everyone can just throw themselves into it. When a person is closed off there’s usually a reason for it. Weather that reason be that they’ve been lied too, deceived, hurt by another lover,or just scared, they too are frustrated in the situation.
You have to learn what that person needs so that you can be that for them. This will help you start to tare down those emotional blockages, but I’m not saying pretend. You need to fall in love and show it, be what they doubted anyone could be for them. Making your spouse feel comfortable so that they’re willing to tell you what they need from you to trust and open up to you is a big part of it. Believe me it’s hard work and it can drain you, but consistency is the key because most things in life aren’t consistent other then the love we give.
Hurt people hurt people, and like many things this causes a ripple affect. This is how emotional walls are built and love becomes so complicated. We as people are made to break those walls with connections trust intimate bonds and by the way we love. Any wall can be broken down but these emotional walls need to be broken down brick by brick with a little TLC involved. A part of you has to open up and connect with the hurt part of them so that that soul tie has something to relate too.
Don’t give up on your complicated other because you never know how good things will get once you’ve done the work to break down that wall. Your spouse may not act like they appreciate your effort’s at first but believe me they see you. Once you’ve done the work they’ll open up and the love the two of you share will be ignited. You’ll know their hurt and be trusted with their everything so don’t fuck it up. Once you do, the next person that’s chosen to love them will have to work 10 times as hard as you did!– Donnie Sharrell