AskDonya (Emotional disconnect) #informative-conversation #Advice #Relationship

Thanks for tuning in Luvz..! So I was asked by a couple I know about emotional disconnect, lets sit in our relationship seat and chat about it…

Every relationship, especially one that’s planning to last or has been long-lasting and full of passion, has a moment where emotional disconnect becomes a burden. Now I say it’s a burden because in all honestly… it is! If you and your partner aren’t connected in the emotional department then it allows everything else inside of the union to be disturbed. A connection is what you and your partner share that makes you fall in love in the first place, it’s what fuels the passion.

When two people are connected by the heart and mind it’s clear. The laughter is constant, the embrace is shared, along with the endless yearning for the other’s touch, or their approval, their happiness, and their wants. Oh yeah and the sex is bomb of course! But when emotional disconnect is allowed to creep in, all of that shifts and you can most definitely feel it. It comes along with the rest of those emotions such as unworthiness, misunderstanding, added on-top of the petty arguments.

This has only happened because somewhere along the line 1 of 3 things came into play inside of the union…
1.Someone felt disrespected
2.One of you made the other feel like they were untrustworthy
3.Or somebody got scared/cold feet
It could be all Three, but the biggest issue is that it wasn’t addressed right when those emotions came about!

Most of the time emotional disconnect comes about when we’re young. Like when we’re being bullied or picked on, when we don’t get enough attention from the people we love the most, or we loose people that were a huge part of our emotional molding process. Learning how to respond this way to hurt and judgment becomes a force of habit that we carry into our relationship’s in adulthood. With this you just have to find someone who’s also experienced similar emotional disconnects.

Why?
Because having someone match your ora is the big picture! This part of the relationship will show if your connection is compatible, because if it is you’ll always be able to reconnect. You’ll be able to laugh through the pain, support though the arguments, apologize when you’re mad, and still say “I love you” at the end of it all. But when trying to reconnect a torn connection be willing to do some patch work during the process.

Patch-Work:
Of course I’m going to tell you what I mean when I’m referring to patch-work Luvz! See when you’re disconnected you have to take certain measures within your union to get it back right, hence, patch work! Such as learning what you’re doing that’s making your partner feel however they’re feeling and putting forth the effort to correct it. Coming home at a decent hour, giving him more intimacy or her more personal attention. Spending quality time and making a atmosphere change. Patch-work is really the two of you identifying the issue and trying your damnedest to fix it. 

During this emotional process both of you will have a job to do. Firstly you need to communicate with open hearts. You’ll need to take your other half’s point of view into consideration. To identify the source of the disconnect all things should be explored, because remember the whole reason the two of you are in this situation in the first place is because you weren’t listening/being heard. Even though things seem rocky, always remember after the storm comes the calm. Do your part to make your partner feel comfortable enough to open up and communicate with you the best way they know how.

Getting the old couple back shouldn’t be your biggest concern. Focus on the new they can transpire and how much stronger it will be once you’ve gained your connection back. If you’re looking into the future the past will become just that, the past…! -Donnie Sharrell

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