Not knowing is what I can’t get comfortable with.
I hate not knowing how you feel. I hate not knowing if you want me or not, I can’t stand it. The thoughts that run through your head are your thoughts, but I yearn to know. Know how you think how you feel how your mind grows. This baby is my passion just to know.
When I’m unsure Im restless, when I’m restless Im spiteful and this is why I hate not knowing. Not knowing leaves me feeling uncertain and uncertainty opens the door for emotional disconnect. I don’t try to disconnect, but it’s something that comes natural for me because of my past. Our pasts don’t define our futures, but they do affect them. They affect the way we deal with certain situations, the way we love, the way we perceive love and how we maintain our emotions.
I can’t get comfortable with not knowing because I haven’t known all my life. I haven’t known if the love was real or if it was conditional. If the people who are around me want to protect or hurt me. If Im going to lose someone once they leave my sight, or if I’ll be hurt having to fight. I hate not knowing because not knowing leaves me feeling weak, and weak I am not.
I am hungry to learn, learn just how much you want me, how close I am to your soul. The soul that attracted me to you, the one that made me fall head over heels. Not knowing that you choose me and why I chose you, that I hate. I hate the fact that I need to know because knowing isn’t always good. It can hurt, but pain Im comfortable with, that’s something I’ve gotten use too.
I’ve gotten use to a lot but not knowing isn’t one. I’ve gotten use to being emotionally refined, hurt, and drug. But not knowing that I can not accept, because not knowing means the future is unclear. It’s unclear how far our loves reach will go, unclear if you can hear my teary soul, it’s unclear if you realize that I’ll never give up on you. Not knowing If its forever or if you love me is what my heart honestly can not do.
My passion is just to know, know the secrets your heart holds, just knowing you is what I yearn to do. I love when I know just what to do, when its coming from me I want to give my all to you. Just let me know, I need to know before I’m restless and cold. Not knowing is driving me crazy so tell me when I’m asking you because not knowing is something I just cannot do!-Donnie Sharrell