AskDonya (bruised ego)

So Luvz there’s a personal aspect to this discussion because I can relate at this time in my life..!

When it comes to a bruised ego it happens for a plethora of reasons in different areas of your life. It also comes along with a plethora of reactions as well. When your ego gets bruised in love this one hurts and can affect you in one of the biggest ways. That’s because your lover becomes your protector, your family, your confident.

I recently was bruised in a few areas that all revolved around love. When the situation took place the first thing i felt was embarrassment, then disloyalty, then betrayal. All of those feelings added up and in the end I ended up with a bruised ego. This began to affect the way I responded to my partner, the way I looked at him and communicated with him as well. It also began to affect me mentally because I started to question myself and what I’d done to cause the action that bruised my ego.

I became angry and frustrated with myself and my man. More and more I felt myself becoming difficult to deal with and even talk too which isn’t me. Having your ego bruised can kill a relationship because it means there’s a crack in your built foundation, it means someone has been hurt. The things I found myself not willing to do were the things I knew I needed to do, but I couldn’t willingly do them do to pride. We have to realize that not everyone’s boundaries will match yours unless you teach them.

If you dwell on your bruised ego it will feed on every emotion that you have. Even when you want to forgive a person, a bruised ego will stop you from doing so because it’s feeding and dwelling on the pain. Forgiving yourself for letting it happen Is where you start the healing process. Realize that being vulnerable wasn’t the worst thing that could have happened, and as hard as it sounds you let it go. Just like that you let the universe have your fears and decide to either move on in The situation, or leave all of it an it’s content behind you.

Yes getting through this time will be a few of the hardest things you’ll face. Either you set your mind to take the bumpy road, or leave the path all together. When You choose to take that bumpy road expect a few flat tires and a crooked alignment. Weather bruised, frustrated or guilty, the part you need to decide on its changing that tire together. Yes things may seem like a lost cause right now, but first weigh the pros and cons that way you’ll know once the patch work has been done if that’s truly the way you feel.

When you’re on the receiving end of your spouses bruised ego the key is patience. We all know that pain or embarrassment isn’t easy to deal with, so why be hard at understanding? You have to look at every emotion they feel and and them look at every aspect of why they feel that way. Forget your pride and focus and being compassionate. This means you think about if they’d put you in the position that you put them in, how would you truly feel!

Think about how it feels to be them or how you would feel in their shoes and be their peace. Reassure them and stand for both of you where the other is weak. You’re the protection of the union the two of you share right now. But both parties have to see a way out of the situation for it to work. Remember once the damage is done the choice is yours, just don’t let the bruised who decide for you Luvz..! -Donnie Sharrell

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