Donyaz Corner Tea Time (Attachment vs Attraction) #informative-conversation #relationship discussion

Thanks for tuning in Luvz! Let’s sit back in our corner cut and sip tea while we discuss Sexual attraction vs sexual attachment

So let me start off by saying most of us know what being sexually attracted to someone else feels like. But do you know the difference between that and a sexual attachment? Most people don’t because the lines get blurred more and more over time do to the way sexuality has been betrayed in the media. It’s hard to learn which is which when you’re taught that a sexual attachment is no different than a sexual attraction. Im telling you right now that both of those things are two totally different things that revolve around similar but totally different aspects of a dynamic.

When you’re attached to someone or something it is a need for someone to fill a void in your life or in your self-esteem. Attachment is the main factor in long-term relationships, mediating friendships, parent-infant bonding, social bonds, and many other close relationships. Your feelings depend on thier presence and happiness. Attachment is the feeling of security, comfort, and emotional union. This is how you stay connected and in full bliss with your spouse because when you’re attached you want them, you yearn for them.

When it comes to sex it’s easier to get attached than you may realize. This is because after an orgasm, levels of vasopressin rise in men; levels of oxytocin rise in women. These hormones are known to cause attachment, and probably contribute to the feelings of closeness after sexual intercourse. The three emotion systems can act independently, as well. Thus heart-ties! Now sexual attraction is totally different but can be Just as intense.

It can be influenced by individual genetic, psychological, or cultural factors, or to other, more amorphous qualities. Sexual attraction is also a response to another person that depends on a combination of the person possessing the traits and on the criteria of the person who is attracted. This means that being friends with benefits might work in this dynamic, but not in the attachment area. Basically a sexual attraction isn’t meant to last but a sexual attachment is, and put together they can be magnificent.

When we attach ourselves to someone we are attaching ourselves to their being. This means that we love them fully through and through and we’re not so called attracted to the physical traits anymore. We’re more attracted and attached to what they have inside of them and what they bring to the table as a person, mentally, physically, and emotionally. Most relationships start out as an attraction but they grow to become an attachment which is where faking in love comes in to the dynamic. An attachment is going to seem way more scary and intense than an attraction will, but learn to live in that.

Live in this especially when it comes to the sexual aspect of your relationship. Why? A sexual attachment is also going to be way more intense than a sexual attraction. This is because within an attachment the two of you are now connected. You have a bond that let’s you be open with one another sexually and emotionally, in and out of the bedroom so that there’s a mint pleasure being shared between the two of you. Both of you care about the others pleasure both of you can feel the emotion that’s being given off through body language now.

Know the difference and the feeling of a sexual attachment and the sexual attraction. Once you know the difference then there will be a difference in your sex life and how you react and respond to things sexually with your partner or partners. Also remember that not every sexual encounter will turn into an attachment, but there’s a possibility for those sexual encounters too turn into one. Be vigilant in the changes in mood and emotion as well as the responses to one another when you are in the act. This will help you decipher between the two and help you determine which route you would like to take in your sexual dynamic.

For me Luvz, I would rather have a sexual attachment over a sexual attraction. Nine times out of 10 when I focus on a attraction I don’t respect my needs, and I put what the other person requires over what I require sexually. This results in dissatisfaction and a disconnect which leads to a short-lived relationship. But when I focus more on attachment, the pleasure becomes endless and unknown and my needs are all of a sudden being met. The big mission is to settle down with someone that you’re sexually compatible with and also attracted to as well. This will save you from disconnect and you’ll be able to communicate through this attachment. -Donnie Sharrell

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