See when it comes to people having your back the way you have theirs it’s usually a 60/40 deal. It’s easy to break your back trying to love someone and prove that you’re worthy of them. Of their trust, their loyalty, their affection and atttention and that shit is worthless. Coming in with and open mind and no guard up is stupid and it’s definitely the farthest thing from safe. Trusting that someone can show up and accept you for you, is carzy, thinking someone willing to fight those battles beside you and love the demons out of you!, see that’s the type of liquid poison that will get you hurt. Yes I’m hurt, yes I am angry but I also know who the hell I am. I know that I have a weeping soul, that attracts people who are also damaged on the inside.
I get so lost in thing’s in people that I forget my greatest strength! I forget that I am so complexed that loving me may seem like a dream inside a puzzle. But to say it’s false because you can’t handle the face that you turned cold is beyond me. I know for damn sure that I have flaws so for a person who watched me be a perfect lover to tell me they had nothing to do with the turn and change in us is pure fuckery! Don’t point the finger when both parties are losing something great. See I won’t claim I chose wrong and that’s just the Virgo in me. No I didn’t because the greatness inside of me is attracted to greatness!
Im upset because you can fight your ass off for something but all of your battles are dismissed one they have to fight. Now it’s not who struck fisrt but the huet person who didn’t heal on time becomes the monster. Now after you’ve had their back through every accusation and mishap they get to fold on you because thei’re ready now and you… oh you aren’t showing up are you with your hurt ass. It doesn’t matter that you’ve been fighting your ass off because when you take one misstep that person you fought to keep and to get to hear you, will call out your every stumble. Bottom line is, he didn’t have my back the way I had his! But it’s always that way for thing’s that are meant to end. The crazy thing is, it showed from the vary beginning that one of us would break are beautiful love into pieces.
Through all of the thing’s that I can not change I will be able to wash my hands with them and say, fuck it! I will not let the fact that some people are put before you for you to love, and for others to take a lesson from the way you love to pass it along. Don’t let anyone tell you that they want the real you, for you to show yourself and when you’re showing your hurt and pain they leave you hanging with those feeling’s. I got way out of character and it even started to affect my business and my weight. So Luvz watch the signs that thing’s are unhealthy, especially when you’re beating yourself up to be seen by someone who is blind to love. That grimy fast moving love, that love that puts you to the test, keep that love and save it foe someone who will have your back the way you have thiers, From the vary beginning and hold onto it, that’s definitely still my mission in love!
Thank yuo luvz! I know I did a full rant but I know with the mind of an artist you out of all my favorite people in the world can relate…! -Donnie Sharrell