Emotional Impulse Control #vent

I use to hear that every feeling Isn’t to be acted on and I thought I understood it. That was until here this past year when my heart was put on trial, when my feelings were took through the ringer. This past year is when I got a better understanding of that saying from many different aspects. See I was only thinking from the point of not acting on my anger, my depression, those impulses that typically bring harm or confusion. But I’ve had time to sit back and look at things from a not so understanding and not so trusting of love side.

See turning lust into love is a feeling that I use to yearn for. Its a feeling that I use to chase I would go on in and see that became apart of my lesson! Don’t act on that feeling when you’re unsure of the persons heart you’re chasing. When we act on love we put that persons heart before ours, we swallow down our pain to hear theirs which ultimately leaves us full of pain and angry. I learned that what I feel is important too, what I need and require to be happy and feel ok is important too. But see I acted on that feeling of love before I knew if this person even actually knew what was required to keep me too, this resulted in an anger flare up.

I use to hear that every feeling isn’t to be acted on, I understand that now. I understand that getting frustrated when you only want to be heard Is a no. This only makes you look like you’re the common denominator in getting back on track when really you just feel ignored. I also learned that the feeling of forgiveness is a feeling that shouldn’t be given to everyone. See once you constantly forgive someone they act as if nothing ever happened. But when you act on the pain and still you constantly forgive someone they will eventually lose respect for you.

People twist feelings to fit their narrative. They use feelings to alter your emotions and alter how they view you and how you view yourself and the things around you as well. This is why every feeling and emotion isn’t to be acted on. Once you learn what to give and what to keep for yourself you start to view things differently. You start to leave more for yourself and give less to those who aren’t emotionally capable of giving you back what you need.

This was a lesson that caused me to cut a lot of people off this past year, people that I loved. Im struggling with the anger though because it’s like I keep getting hurt back to back. Now I’ve been doing some hurting too, but I don’t make my pain bigger than the people I’ve hurt too. Every feeling isn’t to be acted on… That means love too. No I’m not saying don’t chase love, don’t believe in it. I’m saying be careful, don’t be so quick to act on every emotion you feel because emotions make you cry sometimes, even love!

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