Uncertain questions..

I’m uncertain if the path that I walk was already mapped out for me. Or if every breath I took from the day I was born played a part in writing my story. I’m uncertain if I was meant to be a sponge for unwanted experiences, or a teacher to those who hurt just as much as me. I’m uncertain if that ambilical cord was tightening to save me from pain or keep me from greatness.. but I say it was the eyes of those before me trying to spare me.

It’s unclear weather the makeup of me is the karma of my ancestors rebellions, or a gift to those I touch. I do not fully know who it is that is me.. but I do know I’m willing to learn to be whomever she may be. It’s unclear if becoming has already been done before I even began to become. But I do belive I can change the outcome of the unknown before it has become. Because I know that with my first breath I was born fighting to be.. I know that all odds stacked against me can be defied.

I know because from my first day of life It was as if the universe wanted me to feel lucky, to feel grateful to even get a taste of it’s air. As If to tell me right then and there that the oxygen I was being allowed to breathe wasn’t a blessing like it was for the ones before me. It’s uncertain why from the vary beginning I had to fight for my existence, but since then I’ve did this. Uncertain why I was put here or my purpose besides greatness. I hate this. The way my mind made this.. but not through love, through uncertainty on why I have to defy all odds as if I created that first breath of mine…