Why?

Why can’t I stop? Why can’t I stop crying tears for someone who never really did love me to begin with? Why can’t I stop crying, when I already knew I couldn’t keep it because I actually wanted it? Why can’t I stop crying for a soul that doesn’t belong to me anymore? Why do I keep letting myself cry when crying won’t fix what I wanted it to be?

Maybe I can’t stop crying because I wanted it so badly! Maybe the tears keep coming because you were supposed to be mine through it all. Maybe because I expected you to go through the same trials I went through with you and stick it out even when you hate the way I’m responding to you. Maybe the tears are tears of joy because if you really didn’t want the family we’re creating then I dodged a bullet. Maybe because I knew from the beginning you didn’t want me like I wanted you!

I have to stop the tears from falling because loss is nothing new. I have to learn to be ok without you but that makes me cry more thinking about not having you. Why can’t I stop crying when you can’t wipe the tears that are caused by the broken bond I shared with you!

2 thoughts on “Why?

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