Sitting in the right corner of the bed with a wet face tightly clutched in the palms of shaky hands. Fighting back this pain becomes more and more difficult! Stomach turning to the point that it feels as If someone’s clinching all of your organs in thier fists. Vomit sitting in the pit of the gut as the head pounds furiously. Pressure… anguishing pressure in the skull as the mass of darkness grows and presses up against the inside of the cranium.
The body is dying, yet the spirit is fully alive, willing to go on. Not yet ready to give in to the cold shakes, leg curling stomach cramps, endless tears and extremely high body temperatures. Not knowing weather It’s the pain or the demons of the brain that’s causing all of the new nightmares. Maybe it’s the thoughts of what I cannot change, or the knowledge of what is to be, that’s not just yet clear. Maybe it’s not clear do to the disastrous pain that fills the body of a great.
A great writer, a great woman, a great mind, a great spirit, a great genius in love compassion and caring. Fear that such greatness will go to waist is haunting. Fear that as the body disappears so will the memory, along with it their safety. Who will be the protector and the provider? How will the legacy of change and greatness continue on through teachings?
It’s sad when you strive to do better every day, and at the same time it always feels as if theirs a malicious spirit haunting your end. When you’ve suffered pain from the day you were born with the life cord wrapped around the neck, the mind knows only that… Pain! Every part of of pain is comforting when that’s all you know, even when you’re causing some of the pain to yourself. But when it’s been Proven to you that good things never last, old habits don’t die. Old habits that you leaned through being close to death for so long seem so minuscule, but really they are anything but!
As the weakening body sits at the corner of the bed, the mind grows sharper than ever. The mind grows with wonder, clarity, and ideas that feed the soul. A growing mind that was meant to be heard, meant to be rewarded with inquiries that appreciate such pure notability. Without such body to host such a mind, how will the knowledge be carried forth? Weakening from deep inside causing a hallow emptiness to rise and set in the chest of a searcher! – Donnie Sharrell